1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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