I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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