I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the day after is always just damage control
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
