I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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