When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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