That's intense
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Your penis caused this!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize