its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
