If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
