I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
