I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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