So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
