He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
