there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
