Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
