Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
