he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
