Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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