Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
