worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
