Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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