I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
