Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
