Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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