Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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