true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize