When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
