Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
