Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
