I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
