I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
