This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
