Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
