I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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