She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
