i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
