I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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