You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
