How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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