Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
