I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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