tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
