im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize