The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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