Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
honey bunches of taint.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
