yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
