Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Randomize
