At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
