I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
