dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
