I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Randomize
