they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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