Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
