Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
