Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
