I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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