Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
