My friends, they love my intelligence
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You pole danced in your parka.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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