My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My vagina just clenched in fear
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
