After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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