She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
