I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
