He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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