The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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