I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wat bout pragnant strippers??
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
