I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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