And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
