it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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