i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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